Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
