you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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