): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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