11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
