so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
be right there i have to get my cape
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
