ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
