you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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