How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
