I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I skipped work to stalk him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
