you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
