I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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