he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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