Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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