he wants to bone in the snuggie
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
