just tell him i said nine months
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize