Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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