We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
