K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
