I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
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We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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