All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
