Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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