Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
