Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
