Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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