So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
