Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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