hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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