called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
