then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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