I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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