the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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