he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
