I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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