My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
