In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
did i walk over a car last night?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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