How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
