its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
