he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What a dumb baby whore.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize