..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
