I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You've changed since you got that strap on
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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