After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
