You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
