she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
