hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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