i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
