Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
