it was like his penis was on wheels.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
