the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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