Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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