she was so not down for the gang bang
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize