I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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