guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
