both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize