I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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