The maid of honor just puked.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
