Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Are we still banned from the library?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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