Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
