How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
