if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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