I cannot find my penis.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize