It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
