You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
