My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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