1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
